Anxieties of having a second child 

I’m not going to lie since planning our second child I have worried ALOT about how Archie will react and adapt to not being an only child.

For the first 2 years of his life he lived in a house with 4 other adults so he got a lot of attention. He was the first grandchild / nephew for both myself and Callum’s family so as you can imagine he was extremely spoilt for attention.

When discussing the idea of having another baby, I always worried about how it would affect Archie. Don’t get me wrong I know he will be an amazing big brother. He’s so kind and affectionate and absolutely loves babies. But I always hated the idea that he would feel left out or replaced. It is a worry I have had from the very beginning.

His whole world is going to change. He’s not going to be the only child any more. He’s not going to have my undivided attention day in and day out. There’s going to be another little piece to our family puzzle. His little brother or sister. And whilst I know he’s going to be the best big brother, that small part of me still feels guilt and sadness that it is a big change for him. He won’t be an only child any more. He’ll have to share his Mummy and Daddy as well as his time, house and all his belongings.

As my pregnancy has progressed and my tummy has got bigger, I have tried to explain to him as best I can what it’s going to be like to be a big brother. I want him to always feel involved and never pushed away. We build furniture for the baby together, shop for clothes or necessities and even hug and kiss my belly so he can start to bond with the baby. I hope that in doing these things then he will become slowly aware of the changes that are about to take place and it not be such a big shock when it happens.

I tell him every day how much I love him and how special he is to me, these are two things I never want him to forget or doubt.

It’s going to be a huge change for us all going from a family of three to a family of four and the dynamic is going to change a lot. But I can not wait to see where this journey takes us, to watch Archie perfect his role as a big brother and for our family to grow not only by size but by love also.

I know in my heart that the gift he is getting is a gift for life. He’ll love and appreciate his sibling just as we do him. The bond they will have is like no other and for that, I can not wait.

Love Tilly, Archie & Bump xx

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The First Trimester: Baby #2

To say the first trimester hasn’t gone smoothly would be an understatement. Between emergency scans, bleeding and vomiting I’ve been suffering quite badly during these first 12 weeks. 

Trying for a second baby we had in the back of our minds how badly the first trimester could go. With Archie I had Hypermesis Gravardium, bleeding and a lot of trips to the hospital. Obviously every pregnancy is different so we went into this with open minds that this time it might be plain sailing. How wrong we’re we. 

My 1st trimester started off pretty well, I had no signs of pregnancy at all until I did a pregnancy test 4 days before I missed a period (curiosity got the better of me). After that I had no real signs until around week 8 when I started getting bad bouts of sickness. Sickness that would leave me bedbound and unable to sit up and unable to keep any fluids down. I had a few bad weeks of this until our 12 week scan. 

During our 12 week scan, the sonography couldn’t get a clear enough picture of the baby to carry out all the checks so I had to have an internal scan. This is when we found out I was actually 11 weeks and 4 days pregnant instead of the 12 weeks and 2 days I thought I was. After the scan we were obviously over the moon to see we had a healthy baby growing nicely in there but I was in a bit of discomfort from the internal scan. 

Fast forward 2 days and whilst at work I started bleeding heavily. Not just the kind of blood you would expect in early pregnancy, but full on heavy bleeding. To the point my work dress, tights and underwear were saturated. Naturally I panicked and rang callum in tears telling him I thought I was misscarrying. 

After being rushed to A&E and getting assessed they booked me for a scan at a local early pregnancy unit the following morning and told me to rest up that night and control the pain with paracetamol and a hot water bottle. 

The next morning we went along to the EPU  and had a scan where they told us that everything was perfectly fine. They couldn’t understand why I had such a heavy bleed. I was told I had a tilted placenta and that the bleed may well have been caused by having an internal scan as it was quite a lengthy scan but they couldn’t be sure. The main thing was that the baby was perfectly fine. I was informed that I had something called a subcohorbic collection and I was likely to haemorrhage within the next few days as there was a fair amount of blood surrounding the baby but not to worry as it doesn’t seem to be affecting it. 

Luckily I didn’t have any more bleeding I took it easy for a few days, got lots of rest and made sure I wasn’t over doing it. 

For the rest of my first trimester sickness knocked me for six. I was spending days at a time bed ridden, only able to get up to see the Dr for an antisickness injection. It was not a nice time and not only did it leave me feeling low and exhausted, I also felt awful for Archie as I couldn’t spend any time with him and I could see it was affecting him a lot. He didn’t want to leave me and would cry if he had to go to my parents or school. He constantly worried and asked me if I was still poorly and when I would be better.  The guilt this riddled me with was unbearable so I’m praying that the second trimester runs a little more smoothly than the first. 

Let me know in the comments how you’ve found the first trimester and how you combated mum guilt with an older sibling. 

Love Tilly, Archie and Little peach xxx 

SURPRISE. 

My role as an only child is coming to an end, because mummy is expecting my new best friend. 

We’re adding a little more love to our family. 

Baby Smith #2 due May 2018 ❤️

Major Mum Guilt. 

Since having Archie I have only ever left him once over night and that was when I was admitted to hospital when he was a year old. Apart from this time I have never had a night away from him. 

I mean don’t get me wrong I have been out of an evening and had my parents babysit but never actually left him for longer than 11 hours at once. 

On Friday I am off to London, 2 and a half hours away from my hometown, for an overnight stay on a friends hen do. 

I know whilst I’m there I am going to have an amazing time. We’re off to Epsom races, then for a lovely dinner and drinks and the following day we’re having a spa day. 

I can’t wait to just be me again. Be someone other than Mummy. Let my hair down, have a few drinks and have lots of fun with my friends. But I just can’t shake the feeling of guilt. 

Should I be spending all this money on myself when surely there’s something Archie needs?

Am I depriving Archie from my attention working the day before I go, away for 2 days then working the day after I get back? 

Will he notice that I’m not around?

What if he needs me? 

Will he be ok without me? 

What if something happens? 

I know all these questions are irrational and Archie will be perfectly fine. He’s with his Daddy. Who he loves and adores. They will be having a ton of fun he won’t even notice I’m not there. 

I very rarely spend money on myself other than on essentials. I rarely treat myself so why do I feel so guilty. 

I think as mums we get judged whatever we do. If we go out often we’re judged. If we never go out we’re judged. 

It’ll be lovely for callum to spend quality time with Archie without me there and I can’t wait to hear about the adventures they get up I whilst I’m away. 

I’m going to try and enjoy this weekend away and use it as a learning curve. 

If any of you have suffered with major mum guilt then please give me tips on how to cope with it. 

Love Tilly & Archie xx

A letter to Archie on his 2nd Birthday. 

A massive Happy 2nd Birthday to our little boy Archie

2 whole years ago you came into my life, turned my whole world upside down. Taught me how to love, treasure and care for you. Taught me how to be selfless, to grow and to be strong for you. 

You gave me a meaning to my life. A purpose. 

Nothing in the world means more to me than you do. I love everything about you. Your smile, your laugh, your dimples, your big brown eyes, the way you wrap your arms around my neck and tell me you love me. 

You give me the drive to succeed and the will power to work hard. Your the reason I wake up with a smile on my face and the reason I’m exhausted at the end of each day. 

You mean the absolute world to me little one and I am forever eternally grateful that you came into our lives. 

Mummy & Daddy love you all the world. We hope your day is as special as you are 💙

Archie: 2 Years old. 

Happy 2nd Birthday Archie. 

I can’t believe I have a 2 year old. I’m just as emotional as I was on his first birthday. I just can’t believe how grown up he is, he’s a full blown little boy now, no longer a baby.

His speech is absolutely amazing I cant get over how many words and phrases he says. He can count to 7 without needing prompting (and sometimes 10), tell you all his body parts, primary colours, name 20 or more different animals and their sounds they make and is just generally an all round loving kind little boy.

He eats me out of house and home and is growing like there’s no tomorrow. He is in size 2-3 mostly not but still fits in a lot of his 18-24 month clothing and his feet are now a whopping size 7F.

He is such an inquisitive, adventurous little boy. He loves nothing more than exploring the great outdoors whether that be on a walk or on his scooter. He is definitely a boys boy. Loves playing in the dirt, climbing things and kicking a ball about.

This week we have handed in his application form to start pre school in September. I can’t believe I actually have a 2 year old and in 6 months he is going to start pre school. When did my baby grow up and get so big. He makes me so proud every day. I can’t shout his praises loud enough. I want everyone to hear about him, be around him and witness the fun and joy he brings.

He truly is a loving thoughtful little boy and I’m so proud that I am his Mummy.

Happy 2nd Birthday Archie. I hope your day is as special as you are.

Love Tilly & Archie xx

Archie: 23 Months Old. 

Wow what a month it has been. Archie has developed in so many ways this month. One more month until he is 2. I’m just not ready to have a 2 year old. I’ve been trying to hold onto anything that makes him feel more like a baby rather than a toddler but there just isn’t anything left. He’s growing day by day right before my eyes and however proud he makes me, I always feel that spark of sadness how he no longer needs me, how independent he is becoming and how he isn’t a baby anymore.

This is the month where we finally bought our first family home. I am beyond excited to fill our lovely family home with hundreds of memories. I have wrote a blog post on our journey with our house so I’ll link that here if you want to go check it out.

Archie amazed me this month in his swimming lessons and swam the width of the pool on his own (in armbands). I am beyond proud of him. He has been having lessons since he was 3 months and I can’t believe how confident he is in the water. He jumps in, dives under and is now swimming by himself. Not only does he love his lessons but it is also teaching him a valuable life lesson too. Enrolling him into his swimming classes is honestly one of the best things I have done.

As you all know, Archie has always been the perfect sleeper. He’s slept through the night since he was a newborn and I’ve always loved that about him. Recently he has been waking up anywhere between 1 and 3 and staying awake all night. If I’m lucky I can bring him in my bed with me and he will go back to sleep but 90% of the time if we wakes up around 3/4am he is generally wide awake and ready to play. There is no putting him back down to sleep. I’m not sure why this is happening, if he is hungry, having nightmares or of it is just because routine has been hit and miss recently.

Other than Archie’s sleeping being off, everything else is pretty much the same. He is repeating everything he hears, talking sentences of around 5/6 words and can now count to 7. He knows his primary colours, a few shapes were now starting on the alphabet. I love how quickly he learns things and how eager he is to learn. He loves sitting and reading books, learning through play and learning through songs.

We’ve spent a lot of time wrapped up toasty warm exploring the outdoors. Since Christmas I feel as though we was stuck in a lot either inside the house or in the car travelling so I wanted to make a point of being outside exploring. We’ve been for walks down the beach, country parks and up cliff tops. I love nothing more than watching Archie explore the great outdoors.

Next month we are going to be celebrating Archies 2nd birthday and I honestly can’t believe how quickly this year has gone. I feel like the 2nd year has gone so much quicker than his 1st. Before we know it my little bundle of love is going to be going off to nursery and then big school and to be honest I don’t even think I can cope with that thought right now.

If any of you have any small gift ideas that I can get Archie for his 2nd birthday then please leave them in the comments below. I need a couple more ideas to go with things I already have for him.

Love Tilly & Archie xx

 

Archie: 22 Months Old

Another month that has flown by, another month older. 22 months old. I just can’t believe it. I have a full blown boy. A toddler.

Archie is still in 18-24 month clothing with the occasional 2-3 years depending on where it’s from. He is weighing in at 25.5lbs. Last month Archie dropped down from 27lbs to 25.5 lbs and has been at that weight for the last 8 weeks. I think where he is more active now he is burning off a lot of the food he eats appose to storing it.

A week or so ago we attempted to measure his height, he is roughly just under 3 ft. For a toddler this is crazy! I knew he was going to be tall as I’m 5ft 11 and Callum us 6ft 2 but I never thought that he would be nearly 3 ft at under 2 years old.

Archie is now able to say sentences of up to 5 words at a time. He will join words together himself and repeat phrases you say to him. He now randomly says words that I didn’t know he knew. We can be in the car and he will shout out something he spots. Its lovely to see how quickly he is learning and remembering words and phrases.

Last month I touched on how Archie had become really clingy to both Callum and myself. The last few weeks he has been so much better. He now tells me every morning that Daddy has gone to work but he doesn’t cry out for him anymore. He will occasionally get upset when Callum first leaves but can be distracted pretty quickly. With myself he still gets a little upset when I leave for work but as with Callum is getting a lot better. Its such a relief that it was just a phase and that things are going back to normal. I hate leaving him to go to work at the best of times, let alone when hes screaming the place down and shouting out for Mummy.

This month has been a month of festivities. We have been getting into the Christmas spirit with visits to the German bar, vising Father Christmas, beach walks and present wrapping. We had a lovely Christmas at home with my parents, sister and Grandad and then a lovely 2nd Christmas on Boxing Day with Callum’s parents in Tewkesbury.

That’s pretty much all I have to update on this month. Until next month where well only be 1 month away from Archie’s 2nd birthday. How is that even possible!

Love Tilly & Archie xx

Stocking Fillers For Toddlers.

A couple of days ago I posted a Toddler Gift Guide. In that guide I named 6 items that I have got Archie this Christmas from myself and Callum. This post is going to contain items that Father Christmas has got him in his stocking. I have tried to keep the cost down but those of you with children will know that its really hard to not buy when you see things you know your child will like (this is definitely something I need to work on).

Some of these things I have bought throughout the year when I have seen them or they’ve been in a sale and put away especially for Christmas so may not be available anymore. I’m going to try and link each item where it is from but if I cant then I’ll link something similar.

So here goes..

That is everything that I got Archie for his sack from Father Christmas. I hope you enjoyed reading about the types of things Archie is getting for Christmas and that it has given you inspiration for your children’s gifts.

Love Tilly & Archie xx