Since having Archie I have only ever left him once over night and that was when I was admitted to hospital when he was a year old. Apart from this time I have never had a night away from him.
I mean don’t get me wrong I have been out of an evening and had my parents babysit but never actually left him for longer than 11 hours at once.
On Friday I am off to London, 2 and a half hours away from my hometown, for an overnight stay on a friends hen do.
I know whilst I’m there I am going to have an amazing time. We’re off to Epsom races, then for a lovely dinner and drinks and the following day we’re having a spa day.
I can’t wait to just be me again. Be someone other than Mummy. Let my hair down, have a few drinks and have lots of fun with my friends. But I just can’t shake the feeling of guilt.
Should I be spending all this money on myself when surely there’s something Archie needs?
Am I depriving Archie from my attention working the day before I go, away for 2 days then working the day after I get back?
Will he notice that I’m not around?
What if he needs me?
Will he be ok without me?
What if something happens?
I know all these questions are irrational and Archie will be perfectly fine. He’s with his Daddy. Who he loves and adores. They will be having a ton of fun he won’t even notice I’m not there.
I very rarely spend money on myself other than on essentials. I rarely treat myself so why do I feel so guilty.
I think as mums we get judged whatever we do. If we go out often we’re judged. If we never go out we’re judged.
It’ll be lovely for callum to spend quality time with Archie without me there and I can’t wait to hear about the adventures they get up I whilst I’m away.
I’m going to try and enjoy this weekend away and use it as a learning curve.
If any of you have suffered with major mum guilt then please give me tips on how to cope with it.
Love Tilly & Archie xx